lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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