we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
