I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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