i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
