took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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