just come out here and I will go home with you...
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
