If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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