Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
