maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
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