Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
wow bdsm is so cute
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
