I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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