You can't motorboat a personality
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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