Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
