remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
