mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
