I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
