He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
how drunk are you?
Several
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
