end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
