yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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