Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
