Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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