hotel room ftw
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
