It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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