Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
