My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
