don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
It's official drugs can't kill me
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Randomize
