I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
