all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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