she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
