I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
