WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
