when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
