Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
And then the night went full on bisexual.
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