Rock
Scissors
Fuck
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
