Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
