I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Randomize
