So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
