Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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