If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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