Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
