If i come over, it means nothing
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Randomize
