you have to choose: penises or morals?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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