he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
