I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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