I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
