Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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