Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
