so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
So much rum. So many feels.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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