We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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