I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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