She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
