her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Vodka?
Forever.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
