you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
