I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
