hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
